Intimacy Without Love Is Frustrating

You will experience creative energy only with love , points out OSHO

An individual has three layers: body, mind and soul. So whatsoever you do, you can do in three ways — from the body, from the mind, or from the soul. Any act of yours, can have three qualities. Sex is love through the body; romantic love is sex through the mind; compassion is through the soul — the energy is the same. Moving in a deeper way, its quality changes, but energy is the same.

If you live your love life only through the body, it’s a poor love life, because you live superficially. Sex, just of the body, is not even sex — it becomes sexuality. It becomes pornographic, it becomes a little obscene, it becomes a little brutal, ugly, because it has no depth in it. Then it is just a physical release of energy. Maybe it helps you to become a little less tense, but just to become a little more relaxed you are losing tremendously valuable energy.

If it can become love you will not be losing it. In the same act you will be gaining also. On the physical level there is only loss — sex is simply a loss of energy. Sex is a safety valve in the body: when the energy is too much and you don’t know what to do with it, you throw it out. You feel relaxed because you are emptied of energy. A sort of rest comes, because the restless energy is thrown out — but you are poorer than before, you are emptier than before.

Meaningless Act

And again and again this will happen. Then your whole life will become just a routine of collecting energy by food, by breathing, by exercise, and then throwing it away. This looks absurd. First eat, breathe, exercise, create energy, and then you are worried what to do with it — then throw it. This is meaningless, absurd.

So sex becomes very soon meaningless. And a person who has known only sex of the body, and has not known the deeper dimension of love, becomes mechanical. His sex is just a repetition of the same act again and again and again. A man who lives a life of physical sex lives and dies just doing one thing, and all else is centred on that one thing. And it is futile, and it is not nourishing. Sex turns destructive. Unless it becomes love, it has no creative energy in it.

It simply gives you a mechanical release. You can become addicted to it. You don’t enjoy it then, but you will miss it. If you don’t go into it, you will feel restless; if you go into it, there is nothing in it. Unless sex starts becoming deeper and is transformed into love, there is no way. People will have to go towards drugs, helplessly. Even if they are reluctant they will have to go, because the old drug of sex is finished. It is not finished because it was futile; it is finished because people lived only on the superficial level. They never penetrated its mystery.

At the most, people know something about what they call romantic love — that too is not love; it is repressed sex. When you don’t have the possibility of making a sexual contact, the repressed energy becomes romance. Then that repressed energy starts becoming cerebral, it starts moving into the head. When sex moves from the genitals towards the head, it becomes romance.

Pseudo Love

Romantic love is not really love, it is pseudo. It is again the same sex, but the opportunity was not there. In the past ages, people lived in romantic love because sex was not so easy; society created so many obstacles. Sex was so difficult that people had to repress it. That repressed energy would start moving into their heads — would become poetry, painting and romance, and they would have dreams, beautiful dreams.

Source: Speaking Tree

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