Being You No Matter What

Syed Usman Being You No Matter What

There are times in your life when you must paste on the smile.  You nod your head politely and have no idea what the conversation is even about.  I have been through many of those moments.  This last year has been an extraordinary journey for me.  I have learned many valuable lessons.  The biggest one of all, the one that can make or break you, is the realization that it’s okay to be “not okay” during your life.  You do not have to have it all figured out.

It is okay to say I am going to take a break from this.  It is not failure until you quit.  It is okay to let people be disappointed in you.  That is their expectation of you, not yours.  Your success is not tied to anyone.  Period.  I have disappointed many people in my life, I’m sure.  Because they saw a vision of how my life should be.  I sold my first house to the amazement of others and bought an older home surrounded by wonderful trees, near water, and a nature trail.  People I knew thought we had lost our minds buying this old house.  I downsized.  OMG.  Less?  How dare I live with less.  As I look out my window now, all the leaves are brilliant and beautiful.  I call my old friend and we go for walks on the trail near my house.  I no longer live next to an airport.  You would have thought I moved half-way across the universe.  Seriously.

I have been writing almost everyday.  I am a writer.  I know it amazes some and confuses others.  It’s my J.O.B. now and I am currently not getting paid for it.  It doesn’t mean I will never make any money ever again.  No, it doesn’t.  But it means I am doing something for me.  Not for anyone else.  And I like it.  I can volunteer at my children’s schools now, and pop in when needed.  I can work the school store, and actually go to the store.  The benefits are amazing.  They are hugs, kisses, and meeting tiny people at the bus.  I no longer have the latest clothes…it’s okay.  Yoga pants are all the clothes I need anyway.  They are awesome.

So during this time, I have not had it all figured out.  But I have come to the conclusion that if we are honest with ourselves, and our friends, the ones who matter will still be here after I get finished with this process.  If they are gone, they were not willing to be part of my life.  That is not mean, negative or spiteful.  It is the truth.  It took me long enough to figure this out.

So the next time you are having problems, like one of my closest friends says, “It’s okay to not be okay.”  Life will go on, just remember to pick yourself back up and keep going.

Original Text: The Wellness Universe


My Life Experience from Nov-12-2012 to Sep-08-2014

I joined an organization on 12-11-12 (These numbers are now present in all my passwords and I’m gonna change all of ’em) and resigned on 08-09-2014. It was nice to work with these people.

Some of the one liners for me told by different people are as follows:

I told her that Darwin loved her and she told that she did not love Darwin back. I, then, told her that Darwin sat at the other building.

Do you enjoy stress? In what way has not having inner peace served you?

Your physical reality is just an illusion, but the experience of it is real. That is all is real. It is like a mirror. You know, you all know, if you have a glass mirror and you see your reflection in it and your reflection is frowning and you don’t go over to the mirror and try to change the reflection into a smile. You do not manipulate the physical reality because it is only a reflection. There is nothing there. But, you know that the moment you actually decide to smile, the reflection has no choice, but to smile back.

If you put your hand into the fire you will get burned. You can get burned, if you want to. It’s okay. If you, so happens, that you don’t want to get burned, you don’t put your hand in fire. So, in the same way, if you don’t want to be in a state of anxiety all the time, and, again I emphasize, if you like be anxious, it’s perfectly alright. You can go running around and play whatever you want just as long as you want to and as long as you think it’s fun. But, if there comes a time when you don’t think it’s fun, you don’t have to do it.

My Best Answers on Quora.

The Truth Behind Cheating

The Truth Behind Cheating

We’ve all been cheated on, and we all know someone being cheated on right now. But we don’t say anything about it. We choose not to tell them. Why? Is it because we fear of getting in the middle? Or is it because we fear that if we tell that person, they won’t believe it anyway, leaving us looking like a jealous a-hole?

Cheating is different for men than it is for women. Women cheat because they are lacking something in their relationship, they don’t feel loved or appreciated so they seek that from another man. It’s all based on emotion and a happy girl will hardly ever stray. But this is not the case with men, happy men stray all the time.

Men cheat because they can. They know that we won’t do anything about it. They aren’t missing anything in their relationship, in fact most of the time they really do love their girlfriends. But it’s just about sex. They don’t care about the girls they have relations with, they just cheat because they can.

Their world doesn’t stop, they don’t feel bad about it, and they certainly don’t feel any differently about you. Their life just goes on as if it never happened. They have some sort of on/off cheating switch when it comes to this. They are able to be so deceptive yet they can go back to being that loving boyfriend after the dirty deed has been done.

But please, don’t get it twisted. Women are not so innocent in this either. It takes two to tango hunny! If these “side chicks” had more respect for themselves, men wouldn’t be able to cheat, it wouldn’t even be a possibility for them. But there’s always going to be those women out there that are willing to be the side-screw and have no hard feelings about it.

The Successful Cheater: You might be in a “happy” relationship right now, meanwhile your partner has OTHER partners. Well congrats, you’re being successfully cheated on. But what are some of the signs?


Hidden Facebook Relationship Status.

Yes you’re probably in most of their photos so you think this is okay, but it is easy to tell someone, “Oh that’s just my ex, I haven’t gotten to delete those old photos yet.”

A whole laundry list of sexual encounters prior to you.

Please don’t try to tell me that your once overly-promiscuous partner has turned over a new leaf and stays faithful to only you. A person that will sleep with practically anything with a pulse doesn’t tend to have many morals. So don’t think that for one millisecond that they can change. Because chances are, they can’t. And they will continue to do so behind your back.

Random names of the same sex in their contacts.

For instance, your cheating boyfriend isn’t going to put his new fling “Rachel” in his contacts. He’s going to put her under the name “Bob from work” and call it a day. Meanwhile he doesn’t even know a Bob and he doesn’t even have a job. I mean come on.

Wherever they go, their phone goes with them.

If they are seeing someone behind your back, they are not going to leave their phone alone with you. So if the next time your girlfriends phone rings and she busts through the plate glass in the shower to get to it before you do, there you go.

If your partner spends way more time with their friends than they do with you, chances are they are probably up to no good.

If they love you and are faithful to you, then they want to be with you as much as possible, period.

Everyone you know always has something negative to say about them.

Chances are, they know something that you don’t. And instead of telling you the truth, they beat around the bush with it because they know you wouldn’t believe it if it came down to it.

The root of the issue at hand is respect. A person that cheats doesn’t respect their partner, that’s the bottom line. And the women and men willing to be the “side piece” have no self-respect. Instead of demanding to be the ONLY one, they settle with being the OTHER one.

Then we have the people who literally do not have the slightest clue what is going on behind their back because they choose to ignore the signs and live by the phrase, “Ignorance is Bliss.” But is ignorance bliss?? Maybe if we all just had some old fashioned respect for ourselves and each other, this wouldn’t be such a prominent issue.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

The 10 Things You Should Remind Yourself Of Every Morning

The 10 Things You Should Remind Yourself Of Every Morning
We all have those mornings when grogginess and yawns are never-ending. Well people, wake up and smell the coffee — life really is not so bad. I tell myself to start every day with a smile, because it’s another day I’m granted to live.

It’s important to appreciate the mornings when time slaps you in the face — make that day today. For the motivation to carry on, check out the 10 things of which you should remind yourself each morning:

1. There is no better day than today.

Have you been waiting to tell someone something or do something yourself? Maybe you’ve been holding back from making a move, asking for a pay raise or pushing off that New Years resolution to diet? Stop. Today is a great day to do what you’ve been waiting to do. You just need a kick in the butt to get started — kick it yourself.

2. Tell yourself “Wow, I look good” before leaving the house.

But don’t be conceited about it. If you bum around every day, you’ll soon feel like a real bum. Wear those new heels or that new button-down. If you wear something that makes you feel great and confident, you’re likely to have a better day than if you only wear sweatpants. Confidence is key and people around you will respond to your positive vibes.

3. Don’t check social media until lunchtime.

Social media tends to be a source of many problems for people. Have you ever had a day when you do not check your phone and you’re left feeling so refreshed? Every morning should be like that. Start your day with the newspaper (yes, the real paper one, not the online version), a coffee, some breakfast and friendly small talk — you’ll just be happier, trust me.

4. Keep your mind open.

Don’t stress over the little things. Don’t stress about the spit your roommate left in the sink after brushing her teeth. Don’t stress over the 10 voicemails your mom sent you this morning. Most of all, don’t stress about the number of Oreos you ate last night. Wake up feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and stay collected.

5. Avoid your enemies.

You have no room in your schedule for negative energy today — or any day. So, wherever you are, stray to the other side of the sidewalk when you pass your enemies. If seeing them for a split second could change your mood, simply turn the other cheek.

6. Eat breakfast and love every damn minute of it.

I get mixed responses as to why some of my friends do not eat breakfast: “I had no time.” “I don’t like breakfast food.” “I forgot.” You forgot? Food is awesome — how can you forget? Whether it’s a granola bar, three eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes or fruit, eat breakfast. You will have more energy and your brain will work better than it would with no food.

7. Smile at everyone with whom you may come in contact.

A smile can go a long way. If you see a stranger, smile at him or her — it may be the only smile the person sees that day. When I smile at people, it makes me feel happy, regardless of whether or not I get a smile in return.

8. Yesterday is in the past and today is a new day.

So yesterday you f*cked up at work or you yelled at your best friend or significant other and had a fight. Whatever the case may be, forget about it. Move on. Don’t ever dwell on your mistakes. You’re only human and sh*t happens. Start fresh today!

9. You are woman (or man), let’s hear you roar.

Be the best YOU that you can be today. Work extra hard, sing extra loudly to your favorite song and laugh as much as you can. Workout longer than usual and eat your favorite fast food for dinner as a reward. Each day can be a great day — it’s all in your hands.

10. Breathe

Whether you want to listen to “Just Breathe” by Anna Nalick or “Breathe” by Michelle Branch, just breathe; in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you first get up in the morning, don’t jump up, don’t grab your cell phone and don’t turn on the light. Sit up and breathe. Lay your hands in your lap and close your eyes. You need to get oxygen flowing to your brain so that you can function. As you breathe, remind yourself that today is a great day to be alive.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

Be Yourself. Love and Respect yourself.

“Be Yourself” A beautiful example of flowers

The rose is beautiful, dancing in the wind, in the sun, in the rain, because it has not wasted itself in trying to be a lotus. The lotus is beautiful for the same reason. The marigold is beautiful; all the flowers are beautiful, for the simple reason that they are just themselves. Think of a rose trying to be a lotus. Sooner or later it will end up in a psychoanalyst’s office. It will drive itself crazy. In trying to be a lotus its whole energy will be wasted and it will not even be possible for it to be a rose. If it becomes possible at all, then it will be a very poor rose with no color, no perfume, no dance, and no song.

Syed Usman
Be Original

You can see it everywhere. People look sad, burdened, as if they are carrying a mountain on their shoulders. And they are all carrying a psychological weight; they have been burdened, and they have been knowingly burdened.'””

Buddha’s Message to Humanity

Be yourself, has been the message of all enlightened ones. Buddha says, “Be a light unto yourself.” That was his last statement. Dying, on the deathbed, he opened his eyes and gave his last message to humanity—‘Be a light unto yourself… don’t imitate anybody.’

Imitation Makes you Weak

So on one hand imitation makes you weak; on the other hand it makes you miserable. Weak and miserable that’s what vested interests want you to be. And they have found such a beautiful trick that unless you are very intelligent you are bound to be trapped, because who would not like to be a Jesus? The idea fascinates. Who would not like to be a Buddha? It hypnotists. Buddha is beauty—pure beauty and grace.

Hence the child cannot say to the parents or to the teachers, “You are wrong.” It feels reasonable and sensible. But it causes tremendous harm, it makes you hate yourself. You cannot love yourself. And the more you fail in being the other, the more you hate yourself.

I have observed thousands of people, I have been working on thousands of people continuously, and my own observation is that rarely do I come across a person who loves himself.

Jesus’ Saying

Jesus says, “Love your enemies as you love yourself…” and you would think that it is a very difficult thing to love your enemies. No, it is not. The real difficulty is to love yourself. You can love your enemy which is not that difficult at all. The real difficulty is to love yourself, to respect yourself, to accept yourself as you are, unconditionally. That is the beginning of revolution, and the beginning of transformation.

My whole teaching can be condensed into these two words: be yourself.

Source: Complete Well-Being