Complex Ralities | Unity with All That Is

Hello my dear friends,

I have been using this blog from a year or so. Now, I have my own blog started as Complex Realities. I would love to have you all there as I am very much inspired from the response I received from this blog. I would also love to have some articles by all of you on different topics like, Religion, Science, Philosophy, Spirituality, Atheism etc.

Keep in touch with me at the following:

True Incident: Heart Touching Story of Indian President, Dr. Abdul Kalam

INDIAN PRESIDENT … Dr. Abdul Kalam Says

Heart Touching Story
President of India: Dr. Abdul Kalam

“When I was a kid, my Mom cooked food for us. One night in particular when she had made dinner after a long hard day’s work, Mom placed a plate of subzi (Side Dish made up of Vegetables) and extremely burnt roti (Chapati) in front of my Dad.

I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt roti. But Dad just ate his roti and asked me how was my day at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard Mom apologizing to Dad for the burnt roti. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burnt roti.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy, good night & I asked him if he really liked his roti burnt. He wrapped me in his arms & said: “Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and  She was really tired. And besides… A burnt roti never hurts anyone but HARSH WORDS DO!” “You know beta – life is full of imperfect things & imperfect people…

I’M NOT THE BEST & AM HARDLY GOOD AT ANYTHING! I forget birthdays & anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I’ve learnt over the years is : To Accept Each Others Faults & Choose To Celebrate Relationships” Life Is Too Short To Wake Up With Regrets! Love the people who treat you right & have compassion for the ones who don’t.

Be Discontent With Yourself

Remember three things: One, you must be consciously frustrated about the life outside. We are all frustrated, but unconsciously. And whenever we are frustrated unconsciously, we only change objects of desire. But one object exchanged for another will not help you to go in. You remain outside. You change one thing for another, then for another. Because you are frustrated by object A, you substitute your desire by object B. Then you are frustrated by object B, so you go on to C. You go on changing objects because you are only unconsciously frustrated. If you become conscious, then you will not change objects — you will change direction.

The root cause is this desire to get happiness through someone else. You go on changing persons, but this direction is never changed.

When I say, ‘become consciously frustrated’, I mean know well that persons are irrelevant. Unless you change your direction in the search for happiness, nothing is going to happen. When I say, ‘be consciously frustrated’, I mean don’t be frustrated by others — be frustrated by yourself, be frustrated about yourself. Only then does the direction change.

Way To Change

We are all frustrated by everyone else. The husband is frustrated by the wife, and the wife is frustrated by the husband; the son is frustrated by the father, and the father is frustrated by the son. Everyone is frustrated by others. This is the outgoing mind. Be frustrated with yourself, and then the direction changes: you start to go within. And unless you are frustrated with yourself, there is no possibility for transformation.

The second thing to realise is that whatsoever you are, it is because of you yourself. We say, ‘I am like this because of my destiny, because of the forces of nature, because of heredity, because of environment, because of society. ‘What is important is to remember that whatsoever you are, you are responsible. Society may have played a part and even destiny and childhood also may have played a part, but ultimately, you are responsible. This feeling is the base of all religions.

So the second thing: remember, whatsoever you are — if you are sexual— you are responsible. If you are angry, if you are afraid, if fear is your chief characteristic, then you are responsible. Everything else may have played a part, but only a part and that part also can be played only because you cooperated. And if you destroy your cooperation, this very moment, you will be different. So, the second thing is to be constantly aware that whatsoever you are, you are responsible. Responsibility is the basis of all religious transformation.

And, third, remain perpetually discontent until the light is achieved. Again, that is one of the most basic qualities of a religious mind. Ordinarily, we think that a religious man is a contented man. That is nonsense. He looks contented because he has the discontent of another dimension. He looks contented. He can live in a poor house, he can live in ordinary clothes, he can live naked, or he can live under a tree. He can look contented, not because he is contented with these things, but because, really, his discontent has gone towards other things, and now he cannot be bothered with these things.

He is so discontented with the inner revolution, so discontented hoping for inner light, that he cannot bother about these things. These things have just become peripheral. Really, they don’t mean anything to him. It is not that he is contented — they don’t mean anything, they are irrelevant. They are somewhere on the periphery; he is not concerned. But he lives in deep discontent, in fiery discontent. And only that discontent can lead you inwards.

Remember, it is discontent which leads you outside. If you are not happy with your house, you can make a bigger one. If you are unhappy with your financial position, you can change it. In the outward journey, it is discontent which leads you on and on. The same is the factor in the inward journey also. Be discontented. Unless you achieve light, unless you transcend mind, be discontent, remain so — this is the third point. These three points will help but they are just ‘helps’ or aids. The central thing is meditation. Meditate and with these ‘helps’, you can achieve the inner light.

Courtesy: Speaking Tree

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.

It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.

When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.

Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.

You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.

Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.

Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.

Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.

Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising, of course, is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.

Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and forget.

Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

They may be poor calls of judgment, lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.

Because lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly.

Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the problem is, they’re still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.

When love scars, it cuts deep. The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to.

You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust.

Chances are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live with. Why?

Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and so you don’t have to worry about her happiness anymore.

You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is the darker side of love.

Courtesy: Elite-Daily

Does God Exist?

Whether God Exists Or Not?Richard Dawkins is challenging the idea that a Deistic God created the universe and set it in motion and then keeps aloof. In other words, according to him we believe in an absentee God who seems to be indifferent to what is happening in the world. But if He in fact does create individual souls ‘off and on’, then he should face the problem of evil that exists in the created universe in the form of sorrows and sufferings, injustice, exploitation, birth-based deformities. Why should there be any birth-based differences that make some more privileged than others?

Besides, aggressive atheists who deny the existence of God do so because believers have been committing horrible acts of commission and omission in the name of religious creeds and God. Despite this, it is said that the so-called all-powerful, all-good, and all knowing God remains silent. Therefore, God’s silence is equated with God’s non-existence by materialists and atheists.

Howeveer, the wonderful structure of the universe and of the things and beings in the universe does seem to suggest the existence of a Grand Design, which needs explanation. Can it be due to matter and motion? Though human reason is capable of understanding a lot, it points to the existence of Universal Consciousness or Cosmic Intelligence, and this, say nay-sayers, is more faith than fact.

The theistic world view gives cosmic support to the believers. After all, the question of all questions is whether the universe is friendly or inimical to life in general and human life in particular. Long before the ‘Sun’ in the solar system was seen as the friend of humans. So the believer bowed before the Sun and said, “Aum Mitrya Namah” – O Lord, I bow to you, our friend. Darwin’s theory of biological evolution is a grand hypothesis to explain the origin of species on this planet. He never claimed that he could explain the ‘arrival of life to evolve in favour of the fittest’ in the world. How did the rudimentary amoebas evolve; out of nothing? Biologists aver the principle ‘life begets life’. Can they reduce biology to physics? Can they accept biology as a branch of physics? The usual and answer to this is ‘no’. Moreover, physics itself is becoming a science of the minute following the discovery that atoms can be split! The concept of God is not a stupid idea. It cannot be done away with so cursorily. It was the agnostic H Spencer who applied the concept of evolution to the evolution of the cosmos. Later philosophers formulated different ideas of evolution, as did S Alexander in the idea of Emergent Evolution, H Bergson in the concept of Creative Evolution.

The tiny logic and intellect of man should not be elevated to the status of God or the Cosmic Intelligence; perhaps its role in human affairs ought not to be dismissed or underestimated. Such a stand has its own limitations.   German philosopher Kant refuted the traditional rational argument addressed in support of belief in God. Yet he formulated the Moral Argument. For belief in the existence of God – and morality are special to human beings. Unless we accept the moral in the universe it is very difficult to make the universe morally intelligible. The discussion cannot be left in the hands of priests and pundits. Education in humanities will help believers liberate religion from the clutches of the priestly class. For aren’t modern liberation theologians willing to learn from Karl Marx to solve the issue of hunger and injustice?

Courtesy: Speaking Tree

Where does anger come from?

Would we get angry if an empty boat collided with our boat? No. But we would, if the boat had somebody in it. Why?

Empty Boat
An Empty Boat

It is ordinary to try to be extraordinary

Chuang Tzu is a rare flowering, because to become nobody is the most difficult, almost impossible, most extraordinary thing in the world.

The ordinary mind wants to be extraordinary, that is part of ordinariness; the ordinary mind desires to be somebody in particular, that is part of ordinariness. You may become an Alexander, but you remain ordinary – then who is the extraordinary one? The extra ordinariness starts only when you don’t want extra ordinariness. Then the journey has started, and then a new seed has sprouted.

This is what Chuang Tzu means when he says: A perfect man is like an empty boat. Many things are implied in it. First, an empty boat is not going anywhere because there is nobody to direct it, nobody to manipulate it, nobody to drive it somewhere. An empty boat is just there, it is not going anywhere. Even if it is moving it is not going anywhere.

When the mind is not there, life will remain a movement, but it will not be directed. You will move, you will change, you will be a river-like flow, but not going anywhere, with no goal in view. A perfect man lives without any purpose; a perfect man moves but without any motive. If you ask a perfect man, “What are you doing?” he will say, “I don’t know, but this is what is happening”.

Mind can live in the future, but cannot live in the present. In the present you can simply hope and desire. And that’s how you create misery. If you start living this very moment, here and now, misery disappears.

Ignorance breeds angerAngry Quotes

Even then sometimes people will be angry – they are even angry with a Buddha. Because there are foolish people who, if their boat collides with an empty boat, they will not look to see whether someone is in it or not. They will start shouting; they will get so messed up within themselves that they will not be able to see whether someone is in it or not.

But even then the empty boat can enjoy it because then the anger never hits you; you are not there, so whom can it hit?

This symbol of the empty boat is really beautiful. People are angry because you are too much there, because you are too heavy there – so solid they cannot pass. And life is intertwined with everybody. If you are too much, then everywhere there will be collision, anger, depression, aggression, violence – the conflict continues.

Whenever you feel that someone is angry or someone has collided with you, you always think that he is responsible. This is how ignorance concludes, interprets. Ignorance always says, “The other is responsible.” Wisdom always says, “If somebody is responsible, then I am responsible, and the only way not to collide is not to be.”

“I am responsible” doesn’t mean, “I am doing something that is why they are angry.” That is not the question. You may not be doing anything, but just your being there is enough for people to get angry. The question is not whether you are doing good or bad. The question is that you are there.

Being is the problem

This is the difference between Tao and other religions. Other religions say: Be good, behave in such a way that no one gets angry with you. Tao says: Don’t be.

It is not a question of whether you behave or misbehave. This is not the question. Even a good man, even a very saintly man, creates anger, because he is there. Sometimes a good man creates more anger than a bad man, because a good man means a very subtle egoist. A bad man feels guilty – his boat may be filled, but he feels guilty. He is not really so spread out on the boat, his guilt helps him to shrink. A good man feels himself to be so good that he fills the boat completely, overfills it.

Courtesy: Complete Well-Being

The 50 Things You Don’t Want To Regret When You Die

Our generation is quickly growing older. We are beginning to understand the importance of using our time efficiently and fully. Even now, looking back a few years, we can certainly come up with a handful of regrets we have. We all regret doing some things and not doing others.

Now, imagine how much you will regret if you keep living your life exactly the same way you currently are, making the same mistakes over and over again. You would think we would reflect and grow, learning not to make the same mistakes time and time again.

Yet, most of us are stuck on some sort of hamster wheel, pretending we will begin to live more fully, but never taking the leap. Read this article carefully and take in each point. Are you going to have these regrets as you age?

1. Not having more sex. It gets harder with age. (Actually, softer.)

2. Not allowing yourself to fall in love. It can be a scary thing to love and to let your guard down, but the only way to feel great pleasure is to risk feeling great pain.

3. Not learning a different language. It will introduce you to a whole new culture and an entirely new perspective.

4. Not traveling more. The world is yours; explore it while you are still able.

5. Letting the “one that got away” get away. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked out; maybe it would have.

6. Eating all that over-processed food. It eventually catches up with you.

7. Not exercising enough. The body is a machine. If you maintain it, it’s more likely to keep running.

8. Getting that tattoo. It looked like a kitten at first… now it’s just an ugly, stretched-out horse of some sort.

9. Not taking more calculated risks. If you don’t risk, you don’t win.

10. Taking too many uncalculated risks. Calculate and only then decide to act; you may decide it’s not worth it.

11. Surrounding yourself with awful friends. You are, in large part, who you eat with.

12. Spending too much time in a crappy relationship. You knew how awful it was at the time, but you couldn’t get yourself to let go. Damn comfort zone.

13. Staying in too many nights. Life may not always be a party, but there should be a few festivals scattered throughout.

14. Being too busy. Busy can be good; busy can be bad. Don’t be too busy to enjoy life.

15. Never taking a moment to do absolutely nothing. Living doesn’t require anything but breathing. If you want to know what living really feels like, take a moment to do absolutely nothing.

16. Not giving it your all when your all was needed. You were too tired. You had other things you preferred to do. You didn’t want it badly enough. You missed your chance.

17. Making all those excuses. You can make all the excuses you want as long as you realize that one day, you will accept them as just that: excuses. It may not be until your dying breath, but realizing that you have been lying to yourself your whole life is not at all pleasant.

18. Blaming others for your misfortune. Point the finger at the mirror, instead.

19. Giving up. You can’t go back and redo what you did — or in this case, didn’t do.

20. Giving into your fears. We all have things that scare us. Life sometimes may even scare us. However, giving into your fears is a coward’s way of saying, “I don’t want to try.”

21. Not letting those you care about know that you care about them. Actions speak louder than words. If you care about them, allow them to be part of your life.

22. Not telling those you love that you love them while you still had the chance. People aren’t around forever. Accidents happen; aging happens. Tell those you love how you feel before they’re no longer around.

23. Not using that condom that one time. It was just that one time, and you’ve been scratching at that rash ever since.

24. Not putting a ring on it. Commitment is a scary thing. What if he or she turns out not to be the right person? Well, that’s what divorce was created for.

25. Spending years pretending to be someone you’re not. Can you imagine spending even half your life hiding who you are and pretending to be someone else? You shouldn’t spend a day being someone you’re not.

26. Never taking the time to explore yourself. You are more complicated than you now believe. Get to know yourself better. You can be your best friend.

27. Never taking the time to explore your sexuality. Get the ropes and chains, the lotions and gags, or drizzle on some chocolate; get kinky. Why not?

28. Never having that threesome. Sure, you don’t need one. But dammit, you want one.

29. Spending time focusing and fussing over things that don’t matter. Time is a priceless commodity. You’re constantly spending it and can never buy it back.

30. Being too angry, too often. The world isn’t perfect. Most people are idiots. These facts won’t change, so why stress over them?

31. Moping around instead of living. Don’t feel sorry for yourself; it’s pathetic.

32. Taking a huge risk. We all need to take one big risk in our lives in order to feel that we really bet on ourselves and went all in. Otherwise, we are left with a menacing question: What if?

33. Not flossing. Your teeth won’t stay strong forever.

34. Not following your passion. Life should be your passion. If you aren’t passionate, you aren’t living.

35. Not loving intensely. Love and love deeply.

36. Allowing others to keep you down. You’re not a doormat. Don’t let others treat you as such.

37. Not speaking your mind. Brilliance isn’t brilliance if you keep it to yourself.

38. Following the herd. It’s for sheep only. You’re better than that. Lead; don’t follow.

39. Not dreaming big enough. If you’re going to devote your time to something, make it the craziest, most incredible something you possibly can. I’m going to be the world’s first trillionaire. How big is your dream?

40. Not crying or laughing enough. Emotions make us feel alive. Don’t bundle them up; let them free.

41. Not quitting that job you can’t stand. You should never do something you don’t want to do unless it gets you to somewhere you need to be.

42. Not taking the time to experience nature. You live in a world that goes beyond the walls of your apartment and office. Explore it. You don’t have to go far to better understand your place in it all.

43. Not trying the drugs you really wanted to try when you were younger. Yes, it can be dangerous; it’s a risk. I am, by no means, saying that people ought to do drugs, but if you want to try them, do it while you still have the energy to party all night.

44. Not taking responsibility for all your actions. It’s a part of growing as an individual. If you accept the outcome of your actions, even if the results are undesirable, you will be able to let go and move on with your life.

45. Eating the same thing all the time. Food is a big part of the human culture. Some chefs are more like magicians. You don’t want to miss out on one of life’s most delectable pleasures.

46. Saving all your money and never enjoying any of it. One of two things will happen: You’ll die with a very hefty bank account and no memories, or you’ll lose it before you decide to enjoy it.

47. Not saving a bit of money for a rainy day. A cushion is good to have during difficult times. But referring to #46, having a huge cushion is a waste.

48. Not being more social. Our interactions with people are crucial to our happiness. Don’t be shy; say hi.

49. Not making your own decisions. It’s your life; they’re your decisions to make. Don’t spend forever on them — calculate, execute and move on.

50. Not supporting those you surround yourself with. People can do the impossible if they have enough people telling them that it’s possible.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

Change Vs Growth

Change Vs Growth

Change is a six-letter word with a meaning that will never hold true. Growth, on the other hand, is the fuel that will move mountains. All of the negatives and positives life has thrown at you are the building blocks of growth.

Change can be forced for any number of reasons. Growth, on the other hand, is self-motivated. Growth is real. Growth is everlasting.

Life is a puzzle, and there is no right or wrong way to solve it, but rather, your own way. We all have journeys that we travel, and along the way, we will encounter people and experiences we never imagined. These experiences will shape us and guide us moving forward. You can choose to learn from them and reflect upon them with the people closest to you, in order to interpret what they mean, or you can chock them up to mean nothing more than any other random event in your life.

Personally, I will always choose the first option. The ability to reflect upon what you have experienced, along with how and why you experienced it is the catalyst of growth. Growth will always come when you least expect it. To wait around for personal growth is futile.

You need to get out there and simply live. Make mistakes. Fall on your face more than once and learn from what you experience. Just like the saying goes, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Insanity should be the definition of a failed attempt at change. Growth is repeating an action, looking your self in the mirror and recognizing that it didn’t work out with the first attempt.

Let’s switch our approach up. The ability to do this is by growth. As I write this passage and pass along all that I have experienced and learned, I reflect back on the moments when friends and family saw my failed attempts at change disguised as growth and immediately called me out.

Those that are closest to you and love you for who you are will always be the first to recognize the real you from the fake. The pressure to get to a certain point in your life and be a certain person can be daunting. You must always try your best to ignore those pressures.

There are no re-dos in life, just the next moment to correct your mistake. You can’t change the past, but the future is yours to shape anyway you choose. Get out there and live everyday. Love with every ounce of your soul. For in the end, life will flash you by in a blink of an eye. Live and love everyday. When the game is over, and all is said and done, the opinion you have of yourself and the life you live is what will flood your mind. Make it a worth recalling. Make it a life others wish they experienced. Live. Life. Progress.

Source: Elite Daily