I’m So Old: 4 Reasons Why Aging Is A Gift, Not A Punishment

At the end of each year, we tend to mount the happenings of the last 12 months on a timeline.

We either relish in these moments, satisfied with all we’ve achieved, or we are antagonized in the face of our failures for not achieving enough. It’s usually a little bit of both.

We’re in a constant flow of time and age, creating invisible benchmarks to scale them. I come from the “age is just a number” school of thought.

But, this past summer, I subscribed to the stigma of growing up that I resented and demoralized for so long; I huffed and puffed about turning 23.

T-Swift made it trendy to be 22, but did 23 mean I was untrendy? Was I old? Is this what real adulthood feels like?

All this paranoia sat nestled in a far corner of my brain. This was also around the time I realized I had a bulging vein on my forehead that became prominent when I was too stressed or laughing too hard.

I frequented the doctor for funny problems, couldn’t make it past midnight on the weekends and caught myself sounding more and more like my mom. I know, it was all so theatrical in hindsight. I rearranged the pixels in my head and it finally dawned on me: What logic is there in chastising myself with insecurity about growing up?

Getting old isn’t supposed to be gut-wrenching, it’s earned. Here’s why:

Limited Roadmaps

For the formative part of our lives, we have a roadmap with a route that’s roughly sketched out for us. There are years of schooling, odd jobs, weird young love and experimentation.

You step and repeat, then that stage folds and you don’t really have a roadmap. You’re at the discretion of your own navigation. The ambiguity of what goes beyond the more predictable phases in life is equal parts terrifying and exciting, but at first, it’s just terrifying.

You’ll find that the derivative of your personal happiness is embracing the wonder of “first times,” creating bucket lists and crossing things off those lists, one by one.


Storytelling

There are a few things universally enjoyed by human beings, including reminiscing and storytelling. Many grandparents are strong storytellers. I recently heard the story of my paternal grandfather from a cousin. It seems every time our family gathers, a new anecdote of his life emerges, even though it’s been a decade since he has passed.

Some people’s lives are so enchanting that their stories can keep you entertained for hours on end; his is one of those.

This story was about his time serving in the Air Force during the Second World War. He had been abandoned for some days in malaria-plagued jungles of Myanmar. Needless to say, he lived many years after to tell his tale.


Battle Scars

Syed Usman Haniel - Age Quotes

A time will come when you’ll become graceful for being sucker-punched and having endured bitter situations. If your body hurts one day, it’s probably because you’ve used it. Our bodies and scars are testaments to who we are.

I owe a hell of a lot to my body for hanging with me through too many doughnuts and burgers with mayo, not enough sunscreen in the summer, neglect on stretches, lack of vitamins and dumb stresses.


Privileges

It’s a real privilege to witness the full-circle cycle of life: having kids, witnessing your kids having kids, and then one day, seeing those kids become parents.

Sometimes, growing pains con us into thinking costs outweigh benefits. We’re in a rush to grow up, and then, suddenly, we revert to a yearning for youth.

There’s a blurred line that rests between that transition because there’s always something that glitters on the other side. For the young, there are car keys, independence and longer curfews. For the elders, there’s the simplicity of childhood.

Junior high, for me, was a ban on makeup. I wasn’t thrilled, but I never challenged it. My mom’s explanation used to be, “You’ll have plenty of time to wear it when the time comes.”

In the same spirit many years later, I experienced the reverse. My mom didn’t barrage me with chores or nag me about not knowing how to cook like the mothers of many of my friends did.

Her explanation was then, “You’ll be doing a lot of it one day; you’ll learn when the time comes.”

I succumbed to the self-depreciating stigmas of aging just as fast as I snapped out of it. It just takes a couple swivels of the Rubik’s Cube to see better, brighter sides.

Growing up is sort of an embarrassment of riches. Getting old doesn’t suck; it’s an earned gift. And, I’ll learn not to hate that vein on my forehead.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

Advertisements

10 Best Buddha Quotes

It doesn’t matter what religion you practice, what your background is or where you stand in life. Buddha created and inspired generations of people to be their best selves, no matter where they came from.

Some of his sayings are the most intelligent in the world and incredibly life-changing. By understanding and analyzing his work, he can teach us so much about how to live our lives to the fullest.

“All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?”

We must change the way we think about things in order for them to be better. If our thought process changes, so will our lives.


“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything.”

It’s just like the old saying, we are what we think we are. We can’t expect to be good if we don’t think we are. We can’t expect to succeed in life if secretly, deep down inside, we truly believe we can’t. When our beliefs about ourselves change, so do our outcomes.


“To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others”

It is more difficult to figure out where we are going in life than it is to figure out someone else. It is the most rewarding task because of how great the challenge is. The path to discovering ourselves will be the hardest path we have to pave, but it will also lead us to be the best we can be.


“What we think, we become.”

The people who stay put in life are the people who believed that was where they would end up. If you dream big, big things happen, no matter how crazy people tell you that you are. We can become anything, as long as we think it.


“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”

If the work you are doing doesn’t make you want to wake up every morning, then it’s time to find new work. There are only so many days in our lives to do what we love to do.


“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”

Some people have fear that gets in the way of their dreams. They have a bucket list of things that have never been completed because they fear what others may think. When you clear the fear from your mind, life will be more open to you.


“You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself”

There is no way to go further in life if you are unwilling to give it your all. You must pave your own path to know the path that is xcbest. You cannot follow someone else’s path because you have not created it.


“The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.”

Some hide in fear of what others may think of them because of what society tells them. Those who are not afraid of themselves are not afraid of anything. Express your feelings, follow what moves you and never be afraid to be you.


“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

Those who live in jealousy and hate will eventually fall to it. If you let go of the past, there is less to worry about. Don’t be upset with things you cannot control. For those things that you can control take the time to acknowledge your anger and move on from it.


“Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.”

If you live every day to the fullest, you will not be afraid to die tomorrow. If this isn’t the way you feel every day when you wake up, you must make a change to your life. Those who are not afraid to die are those who have learned to live.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

Let Love Be Your Prayer

Somehow, from the very childhood, we are being crippled. Our roots with the heart are cut. We are forced towards the head and we are not allowed to move towards the heart. It is something humanity has suffered for long, a calamity-that man has not yet become capable of living with love.

There are reasons:

Love is risky. To love is to move into danger-because you cannot control it, it is not safe. It is not within your hands. It is unpredictable: where it will lead nobody knows. Whether it will lead anywhere, that too nobody knows. One is moving into utter darkness but roots grow only in darkness. If the roots of a tree become afraid of darkness and don’t move underground, the tree will die. They have to move into darkness. They have to find their way towards the deepest layers of the earth where they can find sources of water, nourishment.

The heart is the darkest part of your being. It is like a dark night. It is your very womb, it is your earth. So people are afraid to move into darkness; they would like to remain in light. At least you can see where you are and what is going to happen. You are safe, secure. When you move in love, you cannot calculate the possibilities, you cannot calculate the results. You cannot be result-oriented. For love, future does not exist, only the present exists. You can be in this moment but you cannot think anything about the next moment. No planning is possible in love.

The society, civilization, culture, church, all force a small child to be more logical. They try to focus his energies in the head. Once the energies are focused in the head, it becomes very difficult to fall towards the heart. In fact, every child is born with great love energy. The child is born out of love energy. The child is full of love, trust. Have you looked into the eyes of a small child?-how trusting. The child can trust anything: the child can play with a snake, the child can go with anybody. The child can move so close to a fire that it can become dangerous-because the child has not yet learned how to doubt. So we teach doubt, we teach skepticism, we teach logic. These seem to be measures for survival. We teach fear, we teach caution, we teach prudence, and all these together kill the possibility of love.

Courtesy: OshoTimes Blog Osho

The Beauty And Pain Of Falling In Love With The Right Person At The Wrong Time

The Beauty And Pain Of Falling In Love With The Right Person At The Wrong Time

When I was about 18, I met a girl who changed my life. She opened my eyes to a part of the world – a part of life – that I didn’t know existed.

This was the first time that I ever fell in love, and it was the deepest I have ever fallen in love. The frequency and intensity with which I felt, anything, was something I didn’t believe possible – I honestly didn’t know that a person could feel so incredibly happy and horribly miserable.

Finding the right person, a person you want to spend your life with, is the greatest accomplishment one can achieve. Yet, the unfortunate truth is that the right person doesn’t always come at the right time. And that makes all the difference.

You’re not guaranteed to find the right person at the wrong time, but it can happen. I’m living proof. I understand you may be thinking that if you met the right person, the person you loved with all your soul, things would just work out.

We see it in all the movies. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. And they live happily ever after – roll credits. How wonderful it would be if the world were so simple.

In reality, human beings are emotionally complicated and because we’re so emotionally complicated, we manage to make situations complicated. Even if you do find the right person, if you aren’t the right person you yourself need to be, the relationship will fail.

Relationships don’t only fail because the person you’re with turns out to be the wrong person; they also fail when you yourself aren’t yet the person you need to be. If you aren’t yet capable of being in a loving relationship then the two of you are doomed.

You will most likely implode emotionally and take it out on the person you love. This goes for the person you love as well – if this person isn’t at the point in life where he or she can be a loving and devoted partner, the relationship won’t work either. There are so many ways a relationship can fail, it’s amazing that we aren’t all alone.

Many people will make excuses for why they aren’t in a place in their lives that’s conducive to a healthy relationship. Many will argue that they need to focus on their careers. Some will argue that they still want to explore life and spend more time flying solo before settling down.

Others will even convince themselves that the love they’ve felt for so long wasn’t true love. They will twist their emotions and memories to make themselves believe that it was more of an illusion than anything else, a dream they need to wake up from. Yet, these are all excuses that veil the truth.

The honest truth is that whether you can admit it to yourself or not, you are not capable of loving – not the way the other person needs to be loved. We should only allow ourselves to settle for one sort of love. The sort of love that is all-consuming, intoxicating, passionate and, at the same time calm, collected, caring and supportive.

We should only settle for a love that embodies the definition in its purest form: to love fully, deeply and selflessly – or rather, as selflessly as humanly possible. I’m not talking about the love of fairytales. I’m talking about the most ideal love that people can possibly be a part of.

Now, the problem when you do find the right person is that you may not yet be willing to give up a part of yourself – because that is what you’re going to have to do.

You are surrendering a part of yourself to your lover. You are giving up on certain things, making concessions and compromises in order to give yourself to the other person. You are devoting a chunk of your life, your thoughts, your dreams and your future to them.

The deepest, purest love is the love shared when both individuals give a piece of themselves to the other, but not entirely without expectation. We may not command anything in return, but because we are only human, we expect our love to be reciprocated.

More so, because we do love our partners, we want them to have the love that they deserve. So what do you do when you love a person knowing you cannot be the person he or she needs you to be?

What do you do when you find the right person, but cannot love that person the way he or she deserves to be loved? If we aren’t willing to make the tradeoffs then there is really only one thing you can do… you have to let that person go.

Letting a person you love go is the most difficult decision you can make in your life. The worst part is that the longer you are apart, the more you come to realize how difficult it is – the more you realize how much you actually love that person.

I haven’t seen or spoken to that girl I met nearly a decade ago in years. And I still know that a part of me does, and always will, love her. Thinking about a person every day of your life that you know you will never be with is a hell of its own. But it’s okay.

It’s okay because it is a part of life. It’s a learning experience like no other. Some of you will fall in love with the right person to find that it is the right time. But some of you will go through what I go through.

I just hope that you have the strength to keep going, not to give up on yourself. You may have had to give up on your relationship with that person, but you can find love again.

You have to believe that you can because it is possible. It is possible to find another right person and to find him or her at the right point in your life. It’s happened to many and will happen to many more. I have to believe that it will happen for me just as you have to believe it will happen for you.

There is no worse way to live life than to live it while giving up on the prospect of love. Love is the only purpose worth living for.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

3 Reasons Why It’s Important To Learn From What Life Is Trying To Teach You

3 Reasons Why It’s Important To Learn From What Life Is Trying To Teach You

In a life, there are uncertainties. But, the one constant on which we can all depend is the hardships we will undoubtedly face.

There are ups; there are downs, and there are times when we will feel like the universe is against us. There will be curve-balls for which it will be impossible to prepare; situations that are out of our control and truths we must learn to accept.

However, there are situations in life that are absolutely in our control. Life is a long journey with many roads along the way, and it is up to us to learn the best ways to efficiently navigate our lives.

As we get older and face many more winters, we will develop a sense of how to trek our own personal path. People have different tricks of the trade as to how they confront life’s twist and turns, but as we age and live, we gain wisdom that allows us to keep moving forward.

Progress, no matter the increment, is positive and displays a willingness to learn and change with every bend in the road toward the destination.

When we fail to tend to the failures we face in life, this progress is curtailed, and as a result, we become stagnant. It is so easy to point a finger at any and every person for the problems we face.

However, if we stop and try to see what we’re not doing, it could open our eyes to the changes we must make in order to continue toward a better life.

This is why it is important to pay attention to what life is trying to teach us.

Turn problems into lessons

Have you ever seen someone repeatedly in the same compromising situation? Ironically enough, these are the same people who describe themselves as “stuck.”

If our parents can’t convince us, and if the severity of other people’s mishaps wont persuade us, life certainly won’t mind testing and retesting us until we learn the hard way.

Whether it’s failure to use contraception or infidelity in relationships, if we don’t see our consequences as reasons why we’re “stuck,” we will continue to be in a stuck state.

Some life struggles are indicators of a wrong approach, and it’s up to us to see these trials not as punishments, but as lessons warning us to adjust our approaches.


Dangers of not learning from our failures

When we fail to stand still and take notice of our current circumstances, we immediately put our futures in jeopardy. Pride is dangerous, and we hate admitting that we need to change. “My study habits are fine,” you say; yet, you repeatedly fail exams.

“I am a good driver; it’s not as many tickets as you think,” then you get your license suspended. “What, you mean I’m not good with my money? I take offense to that!” yet you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

We have to pay attention to our circumstances and learn from them, or else we will be forced to continually repeat the same hardships.


Progress when you do learn from your mistakes

Life is all about moving forward, and it would be a shame for us to get to a certain age without learning how to navigate problems we should have solved ages ago.

When we acknowledge our mistakes and take the necessary steps to avoid repeating them, we gain valuable knowledge that will better us in the future.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

10 Ways To Determine If Someone Loves You

She Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: 10 Ways To Determine If Someone Loves You

If you’re reading this right now, I believe it was through no coincidence your last Google search was something along the lines of “Does he love me?” Well, how do you know if someone loves you?

It’s easier than you might think:

1. He or she listens.

When someone loves you, he or she will always listen intently because every word you say is yet another bullet point in the quest to better understand you. Conversations will revolve around coffee, not six tequila shots; if someone loves you, you can bet he or she wouldn’t want the quality of your conversation to be diluted by any outside factor.


2. He or she loves you for who you are.

When someone loves you, he or she loves you even if you smell like eau de sweat. He or she will love you all the same even if you have seaweed stuck between your teeth. The only difference is, he or she will whisper softly into your ear to inform you of that incriminating seaweed as he or she reaches in to peck you lightly on the cheek.


3. He or she pushes you to better yourself.

Because this person loves you, he or she believes you’re worth so much more than you’ve set out to achieve. Sometimes, it gets tough as tempers flare due to mounting pressures. You may feel like you’re up against impossible expectations, but more often than not, this person will help you do better in the future.

This is the part where your love for him or her gets puts to the test as you question why he or she is pushing you so hard. The answer is, in his or her eyes, you’re worth so much more than this.


4. Your insecurities matter to him or her.

It could be the five pounds you gained when you first discovered the cronut, or it could be that f*cked up haircut you got from that dodgy neighborhood hair salon that was having a $10 promo. But when someone loves you, you always see your worries reflect in this person’s eyes as you confide in him or her. He or she will never immediately shrug off your fears, or worse, laugh them off.


5. He or she is honest with you.

You can always count on this person to tell you the truth; at some point, it becomes sheer obligation. This person will tell you like it is because he or she doesn’t want you making the wrong choices.


6. He or she makes an effort to understand.

This goes for everything you say, even if it doesn’t make sense to this person at first. You should also remember it’s important to be upfront and not beat around the bush when it comes to something serious. Additionally, there’s a difference between understanding and being patronizing. When someone loves you, he or she will make an effort to understand the reasons behind the things you say or do.

Your signifiant other may not always agree with you, but he or she will always try to evaluate and reason with you because he or she knows there’s more to a relationship than winning arguments.


7. You can see it in his or her eyes.

You know the corny phrase, “Your eyes are the windows to your soul”? It’s true, and pretty much common sense. If this person confesses his or her love for you, but his or her eyes are scarily detached and words feel hollow, run for your life!


8. He or she is receptive to and respectful of your family and friends.

This can be rather subjective; however, I suppose unless you hail from an abusive background or your friends are crackheads who snort cocaine as much as you inhale oxygen, there’s really no basis for this person to be a douche and disrespect your loved ones.


9. Words become noticeably plural.

First thing’s first: I’m not an advocate of trashy PDA, nor am I telling you to become a physical extension of your lover. You can remain singular; in fact, please do. What I mean to illustrate here is that when someone is in love with you, the things he or she says naturally become inclusive of you. You become a part of this person’s plans and he or she genuinely wants to build a future with you.

There needs to be a balance here, though, because while co-dependency is sweet, neediness is not. Sounds like rocket science? Welcome to monogamy.


10. He or she will always make you feel special.

I’m not sure about you, but I’m extremely picky and don’t believe in jumping into relationships or being with someone for the sole purpose of companionship. If I wanted companionship, I’d get a pet.

Don’t get me wrong here because I’m not judging against others who do, but I do believe that when someone loves you wholeheartedly, he or she will go out of his or her way to make you feel special in many little ways. It could be getting out of bed slightly earlier to make you breakfast, caressing your face while gazing into your eyes during those intimate moments or simply just sticking around whenever you’re feeling down.

When you mean that much to someone, you can rest assured that you’ll be ranking high on this person’s priority list and it will always feel effortless.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

Being Selfish Isn’t Being Rude… It’s Putting Your Happiness First

Being Selfish Isn’t Being Rude… It’s Putting Your Happiness First

I used to think the key to happiness and success in life came from the art of giving and being selfless. After all, we live in a world where selfishness is common and selflessness barely exists.

I hated selfish people. I made it my day-to-day job to undo the bad I thought they did. What I didn’t realize, though, was how necessary it is to be selfish in this world. In fact, the key to happiness is indeed being selfish.

So, what does it mean to be selfish?

To be selfish means you exist without people or things or places. Being selfish means you have an identity that belongs to you and only you. It’s an identity that when removed from a person, place or thing is your own. It’s reliance of and on the self.

However, it cannot happen until you go out of your way to make sure you do things that are just for you.

Other people can’t make you happy and materials can’t make you happy. When they do, they’re only little adrenaline rushes. It’s something like a drug that gives you a high — but how long does the high last before you’re hit with the comedown that manages to last twice as long?

I used to be happy and sad and always at the same time. It was because I gave too much to and for other people. I was one in seven billion who became what everyone else wanted of me — except me. It was no wonder I felt alone at night; I didn’t know who I was until someone told me who he or she wanted me to be for the day.

So, I finally hit the brake pedal. I gave up on trying to make the world happy and decided to do things for myself. I realized I couldn’t save people, no matter how badly I had wanted to do so.

All I could do was save myself, and in doing so, maybe give someone else the chance to be the same type of happy. I would do it by revealing how the selfless person became selfish and found happiness. I mean, I gave and gave, but who was giving for me? Who sacrificed anything at all, for me? No one.

It didn’t mean they were bad people; it just meant they had something I didn’t. Something I saw as self worth and importance. Do for yourself and when you do for others, don’t sacrifice your identity.

So, I spent time alone. I read books, went to parks, found new bars and did things I loved without looking for someone else’s approval. I existed by myself, for myself. It made all of the difference.

We think people will like us more if we do everything they want; if we are everything they want. But in doing that, we become objects. People aren’t objects; they’re visions and stand for purposes.

How many friends do you really need? How many people do you need to call your best friend? I mean, how many can you have when you can barely keep up with the amount of people you’re trying to know?

I’ve learned that in your 20s, you must come first. Maybe that’s hard to grasp sometimes, but your life and future does not create itself in your teens. It happens more so in your 20s — the decade of figuring out who you are and what you want.

So, let go of things. Stop deciding an unknown future based on a temporary bliss and fleeting acceptance. Be selfish. Be you and who you want to be without the pressures of outside opinions.

What’s meant to be will always end up being. You can’t rush or slow it down; it will happen when and where it does, when it’s supposed to.

Be selfish and make decisions that will lead to your ultimate happiness. Give in to your wants. This is the only time we can really be selfish without restraint.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

The Brutally Honest Phases Of A Man Falling In Love

The Brutally Honest Phases Of A Man Falling In Love

We all, men and women alike, might feel the same emotions when it comes to love, but the journey to finding love is an experience differentiated by gender. When women fall in love, they are filled with bursts of happiness and other mixed emotions, which a man will never be able to comprehend. Men on the other hand, are a completely different ballgame.

You see, unlike women who experience intense surges of affection as soon as they meet a guy, men experience a phase of emotions when they meet a woman. This article will explain the phases and journey a man undergoes before falling in love with a woman.

Phase 1. The “I Like You” Phase

tumblr_le1vdp4Fxo1qcbngro1_500

Unfortunately, men are very shallow creatures. This initial stage is all about instant physical attraction. If you ever thought a guy initially liked you as a person …oh boy, were you wrong!  Some women may fall in love during the first conversation, but sadly, in the beginning stages, men are only attracted to a woman’s physical appearance.  Don’t be fooled by the idea of a ‘physical appearance.’

It does not include the whole package. Every man is different and enjoys different things about a woman. For example, most men are attracted by breasts (may it be small or large) and also by your curvy behind (again, may it be small or large). It’s never about the whole package, but more about a man’s specific appeal in a woman. Sometimes, a guy may not even realize what attracts him most in a woman, but if he has such feelings, he will begin the “I Like You” phase.


Phase 2. The Scouting Phase

Most guys find themselves attracted to a lot of women for many reasons, and as a result, they will “scout” to see which one of them will respond to their advances. Yes, men try to bait as many women as we can, at any given time. It’s only when a girl has passed the “scouting” phase (by accepting our small advances) that a man begins to focus his attention only on her.

These advances are very discreet and are not upfront flirting. A man basically needs that little confirmation that if he does start to chase you, something will happen. Even though he likes a woman, in this stage, he doesn’t really care about the outcome, so if she rejects him or doesn’t respond to his advances, he generally doesn’t feel a thing and moves on to another woman that catches his attention. Sure, there are exceptions, but generally, this is how guys think at this point.


Phase 3. The Chase

tumblr_mbu6323nyw1ry00mpo1_500

If a woman a man likes gives even the slightest positive response to his advances, he will start the chase. Sometimes those signs aren’t even obvious; he just believes in himself that you like him back, and as a result, he starts the chase. The chase is all about winning your attention. In this stage, a man’s aim is to get you to notice him and understand that he’s into you. Once this has become clear, and you have given him a shot (by agreeing to go out with him, etc.), he moves into the next phase.


Phase 4. The “I’m Going To Impress You” Phase

By this time, some women are actually starting to fall in love, but us men are not even close to it. This whole stage is all about making an impression on you. A man will do everything in his power to show you that he is a worthy mate. He plans dates; he floods you with gifts, and generally tries to make you happy whilst hoping to really impress you. It’s in this stage that many women (that have held out, until now) give in to a guy’s advances.


Phase 5. The “I Want You To Love Me” Phase

bokeh-converse-couple-green-holding-hands-love-Favim.com-88397

If a guy is having success so far, he wants to know that you love him. Gaining your love and commitment is his utmost highest achievement. Instead of falling in love with you, in this stage, all he worries about is how to make you fall in love with him. He might even show his relationship skills, thus proving that he is, indeed, a good lifelong partner. You might have already fallen in love by this stage, but this is when he needs to see it.


Phase 6. The Decision Phase

If a man makes it into this stage, it means you’ve clearly expressed your feelings, and he knows that he has managed to gain your love and commitment. Now, unfortunately, for both parties involved, all he did up to this point was prove to you that he is “exactly” what you are looking for in a man.

Because of this, two core problems arise:

-He wasn’t actually being himself 100 percent, so the man you’ve fallen in love with isn’t exactly the man you think he is.

-He never wondered if you’re actually right for him, since his desire to impress you was based purely on his INITIAL physical attraction.

It’s at this phase when a man finally starts to wonder if a real relationship may blossom here. It’s at this point when he starts to actually observe you as a real person (and I know this may sound shallow) and see if he actually likes you in this department. Finally, it’s at this stage when a man decides if you are worth trying a long-term relationship with. We ask ourselves: Do I love her? Do I want to be with her? Will I be happy with her? Is she the woman I want?

It’s easy for a man, even at this stage, to dismiss a girl based on some seemingly pointless reasons, but it’s how we are as a species. We are genetically engineered to “spread thy seed,” so the girl that a man does eventually decide to love and be with has to be perfect from his perspective. It’s also the same for a woman …the only difference is that she probably makes up her mind much earlier in the relationship.


Phase 7. The “I Love You” Phase

tumblr_ltv8u9Fz0H1qcsjiso1_500_large

If the decision stage was negative, it’s at this stage when the guy will either dump you if you had a short relationship, or start ignoring you if it was just a fling. On the other hand, if he decided he does want to give love a try, he is now ready for it. The next three to four months will be the best stages of any relationship. He will give into his feelings and be overwhelmed with love. You will start to see him taking care of you, acting jealous and all the other great things about love.

It may seem harsh and unrealistic that a guy has to DECIDE whether or not he wants to fall in love, but we don’t always rationalize what we are doing. These things are imbedded into us at an instinctual level, and the fact that we DENY love early in these phases is only because it’s our defense mechanism preventing us from getting hurt.

Important Note: This is how a man falls in love if the woman he is after gives into all of his advances. If you want to turn a guy on his head, don’t give in to ALL OF HIS advances. Don’t say, “I love you” when he wants you to say it. Basically, turn his world upside down, and then, you’ll see a man falling helplessly in love, not being able to control his own emotions.

This is the sort of content I discuss on my blog and in my free eBook. If you want to increase your love life success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com – a place where the “conventional dating mindset” is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality man in your life.

Courtesy: Elite Daily