Being Selfish Isn’t Being Rude… It’s Putting Your Happiness First

Being Selfish Isn’t Being Rude… It’s Putting Your Happiness First

I used to think the key to happiness and success in life came from the art of giving and being selfless. After all, we live in a world where selfishness is common and selflessness barely exists.

I hated selfish people. I made it my day-to-day job to undo the bad I thought they did. What I didn’t realize, though, was how necessary it is to be selfish in this world. In fact, the key to happiness is indeed being selfish.

So, what does it mean to be selfish?

To be selfish means you exist without people or things or places. Being selfish means you have an identity that belongs to you and only you. It’s an identity that when removed from a person, place or thing is your own. It’s reliance of and on the self.

However, it cannot happen until you go out of your way to make sure you do things that are just for you.

Other people can’t make you happy and materials can’t make you happy. When they do, they’re only little adrenaline rushes. It’s something like a drug that gives you a high — but how long does the high last before you’re hit with the comedown that manages to last twice as long?

I used to be happy and sad and always at the same time. It was because I gave too much to and for other people. I was one in seven billion who became what everyone else wanted of me — except me. It was no wonder I felt alone at night; I didn’t know who I was until someone told me who he or she wanted me to be for the day.

So, I finally hit the brake pedal. I gave up on trying to make the world happy and decided to do things for myself. I realized I couldn’t save people, no matter how badly I had wanted to do so.

All I could do was save myself, and in doing so, maybe give someone else the chance to be the same type of happy. I would do it by revealing how the selfless person became selfish and found happiness. I mean, I gave and gave, but who was giving for me? Who sacrificed anything at all, for me? No one.

It didn’t mean they were bad people; it just meant they had something I didn’t. Something I saw as self worth and importance. Do for yourself and when you do for others, don’t sacrifice your identity.

So, I spent time alone. I read books, went to parks, found new bars and did things I loved without looking for someone else’s approval. I existed by myself, for myself. It made all of the difference.

We think people will like us more if we do everything they want; if we are everything they want. But in doing that, we become objects. People aren’t objects; they’re visions and stand for purposes.

How many friends do you really need? How many people do you need to call your best friend? I mean, how many can you have when you can barely keep up with the amount of people you’re trying to know?

I’ve learned that in your 20s, you must come first. Maybe that’s hard to grasp sometimes, but your life and future does not create itself in your teens. It happens more so in your 20s — the decade of figuring out who you are and what you want.

So, let go of things. Stop deciding an unknown future based on a temporary bliss and fleeting acceptance. Be selfish. Be you and who you want to be without the pressures of outside opinions.

What’s meant to be will always end up being. You can’t rush or slow it down; it will happen when and where it does, when it’s supposed to.

Be selfish and make decisions that will lead to your ultimate happiness. Give in to your wants. This is the only time we can really be selfish without restraint.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

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Bounce Back To A Better You: 7 Ways To Use Your Pain As Motivational Strength

Bounce Back To A Better You: 7 Ways To Use Your Pain As Motivational Strength

You are a compilation of your past experiences.

There have been amazing times, awful times and lots of things in between. We try to have positive moments all the time, but it doesn’t always happen that way. We often define broken hearts, crushed dreams and other obstacles as setbacks and nothing more.

In reality, though, these so-called challenges actually help us reconsider our current life path, and if we let them, may help us make life changes for the better.

But what about those tough, gut-wrenching situations you that you find little or no joy in? The fact that you’re here, reading this sentence, means you’ve survived and that is something to be celebrated.

You’ve probably heard that time heals all wounds. In your experience, has this always been true? Even if it has, what do you do until that time finally comes?

We cannot just wait and hope for things to get better. If we want to move forward with our lives, we need to at least try to make progress. How do we get out of that slump, though, when we lose out on our dream job in the last round of interviews? Or if we go through a breakup?

They key is to examine yourself, look at the world around you and power forward:

1. Acknowledge your new self.

You may have defined yourself as one way in the past, but now that you’ve gone through a certain setback, you likely see yourself in a different light. Don’t be afraid to recognize your feelings. Pay attention to how they affect you throughout the day.

You may not realize it, but just like lifting weights at the gym, both your physical body and your soul are becoming stronger by carrying this burden.

The first time you lift a heavy weight, it’s pretty miserable, but five gym visits later, the original weight is now a lot easier to carry. Hopefully you won’t have to go through the pain again, but if you do, you’re now more prepared.


2. Take care of something.

Whether it’s your friend, your cousin, pet or even a plant, try to help out some type of living being. Even just a slight increase in responsibility can give additional value to your life and give comfort to others around you, as well.

Take care of a dog that is super happy to see you each day, water a plant that needs you to survive or volunteer at a shelter.

If you’re not sure where to begin, start by giving a little extra attention to those around you. If he or she is going through a difficult time him or herself, hear this person out and try to offer support. Anticipate his or her needs and show that you care.


3. Remember that misery loves company.

Knowing that someone else has gone through a similar experience to our own can help benefit both people involved. Often we may feel like we’re alone while dealing with an issue, but when we come across another person who has gone through something comparable, we suddenly open up.

This conversation helps us (and usually said person) feel at least a little better. Talk to your coworkers, friends or classmates about your issue and they may tell you of someone they know who’s in a similar state. Or, join a support group and make friends there.

Once you finally connect with someone, allow him or her to help you. Make sure to return the favor to someone else in the future.


4. Get creative.

So your pain has transformed you in some ways, but how exactly? Do you see the world differently, or even see yourself differently?

How can you relate to the world in a way you’ll be understood? Evolve yourself into the person you want to be. If you’re still set on a goal that didn’t work out the first time, try to find another way to achieve that goal.


5. Find an open door.

Another saying you may have heard is that when one door closes, another opens. Ask yourself if any new opportunities have opened up since your setback.

Does the extra time you have not focusing on your original goal give you more time to pursue something else? You may not find any fully open doors, but maybe just a crack in a door that you can then open later, once you have more confidence or expertise in a certain area.


6. See the good in others.

This may be difficult, especially if you’ve been let down, abandoned or rejected by people in the past. But I believe that everyone has something good, usually something great at his or her core, even if it is covered by something that seems questionable.

With anyone you find to be particularly challenging to deal with, focus on one good part of his or her character, or one good thing you have seen this person do. If you truly have not seen anything good, then hope and trust that there’s something good to come.


7. See the good in yourself.

Own who you are; be proud of what you have overcome and be excited for what’s ahead. Know that you are strong and others will surely see your strength too.

Tell yourself three things each day that you like about yourself and focus on these good qualities. Carry these positive thoughts with you throughout your day.

Inspire yourself to achieve more than you thought possible, and you will be an inspiration to others, maybe without realizing it.

Courtesy: Elite Daily