Let Love Be Your Prayer

Somehow, from the very childhood, we are being crippled. Our roots with the heart are cut. We are forced towards the head and we are not allowed to move towards the heart. It is something humanity has suffered for long, a calamity-that man has not yet become capable of living with love.

There are reasons:

Love is risky. To love is to move into danger-because you cannot control it, it is not safe. It is not within your hands. It is unpredictable: where it will lead nobody knows. Whether it will lead anywhere, that too nobody knows. One is moving into utter darkness but roots grow only in darkness. If the roots of a tree become afraid of darkness and don’t move underground, the tree will die. They have to move into darkness. They have to find their way towards the deepest layers of the earth where they can find sources of water, nourishment.

The heart is the darkest part of your being. It is like a dark night. It is your very womb, it is your earth. So people are afraid to move into darkness; they would like to remain in light. At least you can see where you are and what is going to happen. You are safe, secure. When you move in love, you cannot calculate the possibilities, you cannot calculate the results. You cannot be result-oriented. For love, future does not exist, only the present exists. You can be in this moment but you cannot think anything about the next moment. No planning is possible in love.

The society, civilization, culture, church, all force a small child to be more logical. They try to focus his energies in the head. Once the energies are focused in the head, it becomes very difficult to fall towards the heart. In fact, every child is born with great love energy. The child is born out of love energy. The child is full of love, trust. Have you looked into the eyes of a small child?-how trusting. The child can trust anything: the child can play with a snake, the child can go with anybody. The child can move so close to a fire that it can become dangerous-because the child has not yet learned how to doubt. So we teach doubt, we teach skepticism, we teach logic. These seem to be measures for survival. We teach fear, we teach caution, we teach prudence, and all these together kill the possibility of love.

Courtesy: OshoTimes Blog Osho

Hug, The Healing Effect

A Girl Hugging a Guy with all her Heart

Clambering up the career and stepping up ladders can be exhausting. It is not only exhausting, it isolating as well. People relate to each other as workers, demanding results and there is no time for nourishing human aspects. Apparently there is a major health issue facing urban people that is just not being addressed.

There was a wide research in England and it was found that people at least should get eight sincere hugs a day for their health and well being.   Brits were found to be missing out on 2,808 hugs a year -54 per week -and it could be damaging their health.

What is true in England is true for all hard working people in big cities. People are so engrossed in achieving their targets that they have forgotten that they have a heart – not the physical one but an emotional reservoir. There is an emotional need to touch somebody or be touched by them.

Now this research says, forget a balanced diet, regular exercise and health checks. As well as our five daily portions of fruit and veg we should be getting at least eight hugs a day to ensure the release of the feel-good hormone Oxycontin.

Something about that warm-and-fuzzy feeling when giving or getting a cuddle promotes feelings of happiness and well-being. These days professionals probably spend more time cradling their cell phone, computer mouse or iPod, than a pet or a loved one.

It was Osho who first started hugging people generously way back in the sixties and now the Osho people hug each other with abundance and have found what a wonderful therapy it is.

Says Osho: “Analysis is the way of the mind, hugging is the way of the heart. The mind is the cause of all diseases, and the heart is the source of all healing.

Man needs to be needed. It is one of the most fundamental needs of human beings. Love is the greatest therapy there is. Hugging is only a gesture of love, of warmth, of caring. the very feel of the warmth flowing from the other person melts many illnesses in you, melts the ice-like, cold ego. It makes you again a child.”

“The psychologists are well aware of the fact now that unless a child is hugged, kissed, he misses some nourishment. Just as the body needs food, the soul needs love. You can give to the child all the physical needs, all the physical comforts, but if hugging is missing the child will not grow in a wholesome being.”

Maybe we could all benefit from a hug once in a while, and we shouldn’t be afraid to offer them either, now it’s “officially” good for your health.

Courtesy: Times of India

The Brutally Honest Phases Of A Man Falling In Love

We all, men and women alike, might feel the same emotions when it comes to love, but the journey to finding love is an experience differentiated by gender. When women fall in love, they are filled with bursts of happiness and other mixed emotions, which a man will never be able to comprehend. Men on the other hand, are a completely different ballgame.

You see, unlike women who experience intense surges of affection as soon as they meet a guy, men experience a phase of emotions when they meet a woman. This article will explain the phases and journey a man undergoes before falling in love with a woman.

Phase 1. The “I Like You” Phase

Unfortunately, men are very shallow creatures. This initial stage is all about instant physical attraction. If you ever thought a guy initially liked you as a person …oh boy, were you wrong!  Some women may fall in love during the first conversation, but sadly, in the beginning stages, men are only attracted to a woman’s physical appearance.  Don’t be fooled by the idea of a ‘physical appearance.’

It does not include the whole package. Every man is different and enjoys different things about a woman. For example, most men are attracted by breasts (may it be small or large) and also by your curvy behind (again, may it be small or large). It’s never about the whole package, but more about a man’s specific appeal in a woman. Sometimes, a guy may not even realize what attracts him most in a woman, but if he has such feelings, he will begin the “I Like You” phase.

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Phase 2. The Scouting Phase

Most guys find themselves attracted to a lot of women for many reasons, and as a result, they will “scout” to see which one of them will respond to their advances. Yes, men try to bait as many women as we can, at any given time. It’s only when a girl has passed the “scouting” phase (by accepting our small advances) that a man begins to focus his attention only on her.

These advances are very discreet and are not upfront flirting. A man basically needs that little confirmation that if he does start to chase you, something will happen. Even though he likes a woman, in this stage, he doesn’t really care about the outcome, so if she rejects him or doesn’t respond to his advances, he generally doesn’t feel a thing and moves on to another woman that catches his attention. Sure, there are exceptions, but generally, this is how guys think at this point.

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Phase 3. The Chase

If a woman a man likes gives even the slightest positive response to his advances, he will start the chase. Sometimes those signs aren’t even obvious; he just believes in himself that you like him back, and as a result, he starts the chase. The chase is all about winning your attention. In this stage, a man’s aim is to get you to notice him and understand that he’s into you. Once this has become clear, and you have given him a shot (by agreeing to go out with him, etc.), he moves into the next phase.

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Phase 4. The “I’m Going To Impress You” Phase

By this time, some women are actually starting to fall in love, but us men are not even close to it. This whole stage is all about making an impression on you. A man will do everything in his power to show you that he is a worthy mate. He plans dates; he floods you with gifts, and generally tries to make you happy whilst hoping to really impress you. It’s in this stage that many women (that have held out, until now) give in to a guy’s advances.

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Phase 5. The “I Want You To Love Me” Phase

If a guy is having success so far, he wants to know that you love him. Gaining your love and commitment is his utmost highest achievement. Instead of falling in love with you, in this stage, all he worries about is how to make you fall in love with him. He might even show his relationship skills, thus proving that he is, indeed, a good lifelong partner. You might have already fallen in love by this stage, but this is when he needs to see it.

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Phase 6. The Decision Phase

If a man makes it into this stage, it means you’ve clearly expressed your feelings, and he knows that he has managed to gain your love and commitment. Now, unfortunately, for both parties involved, all he did up to this point was prove to you that he is “exactly” what you are looking for in a man.

Because of this, two core problems arise:

-He wasn’t actually being himself 100 percent, so the man you’ve fallen in love with isn’t exactly the man you think he is.

-He never wondered if you’re actually right for him, since his desire to impress you was based purely on his INITIAL physical attraction.

It’s at this phase when a man finally starts to wonder if a real relationship may blossom here. It’s at this point when he starts to actually observe you as a real person (and I know this may sound shallow) and see if he actually likes you in this department. Finally, it’s at this stage when a man decides if you are worth trying a long-term relationship with. We ask ourselves: Do I love her? Do I want to be with her? Will I be happy with her? Is she the woman I want?

It’s easy for a man, even at this stage, to dismiss a girl based on some seemingly pointless reasons, but it’s how we are as a species. We are genetically engineered to “spread thy seed,” so the girl that a man does eventually decide to love and be with has to be perfect from his perspective. It’s also the same for a woman …the only difference is that she probably makes up her mind much earlier in the relationship.

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Phase 7. The “I Love You” Phase

If the decision stage was negative, it’s at this stage when the guy will either dump you if you had a short relationship, or start ignoring you if it was just a fling. On the other hand, if he decided he does want to give love a try, he is now ready for it. The next three to four months will be the best stages of any relationship. He will give into his feelings and be overwhelmed with love. You will start to see him taking care of you, acting jealous and all the other great things about love.

It may seem harsh and unrealistic that a guy has to DECIDE whether or not he wants to fall in love, but we don’t always rationalize what we are doing. These things are imbedded into us at an instinctual level, and the fact that we DENY love early in these phases is only because it’s our defense mechanism preventing us from getting hurt.

Important Note: This is how a man falls in love if the woman he is after gives into all of his advances. If you want to turn a guy on his head, don’t give in to ALL OF HIS advances. Don’t say, “I love you” when he wants you to say it. Basically, turn his world upside down, and then, you’ll see a man falling helplessly in love, not being able to control his own emotions.

This is the sort of content I discuss on my blog and in my free eBook. If you want to increase your love life success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com – a place where the “conventional dating mindset” is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality man in your life.

Courtesy: Elite Daily

The Pain Of Breaking Up With Someone Who Only Ever Existed In Your Head

In the past year, I’ve had about four boyfriends. I know that seems like a lot and most of you are wondering how that’s even possible (especially when I write about being single all the time). Well, here’s my secret: None of these boys actually know we’re dating.

As hard as it is to admit to myself, these relationships have largely taken place in my head, grown out of mild flirtations and a few drunk hookups. If we’re getting technical, the actual number of boyfriends I’ve had in the past year would be zero. But what fun is that?

When a friend recently asked me if I’m seeing anyone, I actually had to pause and rethink my answer. Saying that I’m outwardly together with someone in real life would pose as a blatant lie; however, in the realm of my mind, it was a different story.

Inside my head I was very much emotionally involved with a mutual friend named Jake* (*I’ve changed his name because this would be remarkably embarrassing if he found out the kind of storyline I devised for us) who, while I knew was interested in me as well (we had sporadically kissed a few times), hadn’t really progressed to full-on dating territory.

“I was hooking up with Jake for a little bit. But I don’t think it’s going anywhere, he’s super frustrating,” I replied, mentally categorizing this as a three on the lying scale. We had hooked up, we just weren’t that serious.

“How so?” my friend inquired.

“Well, there’s a lot of back and forth that goes on between us. He hasn’t explicitly asked me out, but the attraction is there. He just, like, can’t understand when he’s upsetting me. Oh, also, don’t like, tell him I’m saying this. He kind of doesn’t know.” I took a big sip of the cayenne cocktail and prayed she wouldn’t tell Jake of the head games I had conjured up and proceeded to mentally torture myself over.

My friend wasn’t going to talk to him. She was more puzzled by the whole thing and I couldn’t blame her. I wasn’t in a real-life relationship with Jake; 72 percent of our interactions took place in my head and the other 28 percent was casually flirtatious fodder between us that I then sickly twisted and blew out of proportion because I am that pathetic and want to be alone with my thoughts rather than an actual male human for the rest of my life.

There I said it. It was now time to end this fantasy relationship that clearly wasn’t going to happen in real life. The only problem: How do you get over a boyfriend that largely existed inside your head?

It’s not like you can have this big blowout breakup scene. You don’t actually have any concrete reasons to be mad at him besides, “He didn’t give me enough attention,” which, yeah, makes sense because he doesn’t even know he’s dating you! You can’t say “he cheated on me” or “he doesn’t make time for me.”

There isn’t a talk about how to improve your struggles as a couple. You’re not a couple. You’re not even a “thing.”

You’re make-believe, a dreamt-up part of my imagination that I use to pretend I’m sleeping next to someone at night. And this is why breaking up with someone who only exists in your head is so hard: when you think about a person so much, he seems all-too real to you.

It’s kind of like when you have an intensely vivid dream about someone and the next day you see him in person. You feel like you were with him. You feel like you know him. And yet, that was all made up in your mind.

To the outside world, I was single. Inside my head, I was emotionally closed off, already in too deep with my own thoughts of my fake-boyfriend.

Jake and I had a super-exciting dating life. I was convinced we had a strong attraction one evening when he bought me a drink and none of my other friends, and naturally blew that gesture out of proportion when I smiled about it on my walk home.

He said things like, “I bet your sister is really cool,” which I then heard as, “I can’t wait until you introduce me to your sister.”

We rarely fought (obviously), but yet he always seemed to (naturally) let me down when I caught glimpses of him chatting up other girls at the bar. This is because you two aren’t actually dating, I had to remind myself.

I know this saga might raise a few eyebrows, friends might question my sanity, others will tout about how pathetic I am that I can’t hold down a real relationship or at least make the move and tell this guy that we’ve been seeing each other for three months and it’s finally time we see each other some place other than my brain.

But if we were to get together in real life, what would happen then? Would it live up to this hyped-up fantasy I’ve been building up inside me? Would he be the kind of boyfriend I already scripted him to be?

Perhaps, when you already have the mental drama to fulfill, you eventually become numb to the real thing.

So how was I to break up with Jake? Clearly it wasn’t going to work between us. I decided to stop seeing him both in person and in my head.

His presence as a constant visual reminder wasn’t helping to erase him from my mind. And no good could come out of me wanting someone that badly who didn’t want me back.

What was the appropriate response, though, to such a tragic ending? I couldn’t help but feel a little empty and down. There wasn’t anyone special to preoccupy my thoughts anymore. There wasn’t someone who I was dressing up for in hope I’d see him out that night.

I didn’t have that internal farce to fill me up or complain about when my girlfriends and I discussed our love lives. Even though we technically had never been boyfriend and girlfriend, a piece of me still felt like we had.

Aside from facing the cold, hard truth, the best solution to ending things with your mental fantasy, I believe, is to find someone who wants to be your reality.

Someone who you don’t need to obsess over in your head because he is right there in front of you, wanting you back. Let go of the people who won’t turn into anything more than a delusion — they might give you some artificial comfort, but they’re also holding you back from experiencing the true thing.

Eventually, I got over Jake, just like I had gotten over those other three “boyfriends.” I laughed at how ridiculous these fake relationships were and the stupid anguish they caused me when they didn’t really need to.

My friends didn’t stop making fun of me, though. Which I guess is a good thing because we all need a dose of reality now and then.

And I’ve learned a valuable lesson: Don’t dream about what other people can do for you, instead make it happen for yourself.

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.

It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.

When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.

Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.

You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.

Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.

Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.

Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.

Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising, of course, is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.

Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and forget.

Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

They may be poor calls of judgment, lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.

Because lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly.

Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the problem is, they’re still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.

When love scars, it cuts deep. The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to.

You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust.

Chances are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live with. Why?

Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and so you don’t have to worry about her happiness anymore.

You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is the darker side of love.

Courtesy: Elite-Daily

Who does God talk to?

Who actually travels/dreams? The body or the soul? Or is there is a “third” entity? Then, when was this other entity created?

Think, what If a new-born child is not given a name?

Because a name is given, the foundation of an identity is created. Then, this identity starts thinking and choosing – “this is mine”, “that is yours”. The world starts appearing as “me” and the “others”. This “I” strengthens as we grow up.

Thus, anything that this identity (which we think is “me” or “I”) does, is an illusion. God has nothing to do with it. Even if we assume, think, who will God talk to? An identity that itself does not know what it is? How silly.

One must first identify and come out of these false perceptions – in effect, one had to come out of oneself – “I” has to rise above “I”. And when that happens, no heaven or hell are required – none exist, for the one that is supposed to go to them does not exists.

If there is a God, this is what he would want to – He did not take the trouble of creating this complex human life just to create “thought-based” objects to pray to him. NO. This human life was created because it had the potential to “know” – to “realize”. This is what nature wants.

“I” only thinks about itself – it wants to go to heaven, it wants to see the God. These are ego-based and selfish perceptions.

Compassion: A pain relief for Emotional Pains

Courtesy: Complete Well-Being

When we experience physical pain, we reach out for painkillers. But when it comes to emotional pain, there seems to be no reliable way to find relief.

As a result, many turn to anti-depressants, alcohol and other self-destructive options.

The culprit behind all emotional pain is our own thought process. When we experience emotional pain, we tend to become entangled in self-defeating thoughts. Then, all we think about is our suffering, our pain.

We wallow in self-pity. Sure enough, we find ourselves in a quicksand of pessimism and hopelessness until the pain becomes unbearable.

I have discovered that there is an effective and safe remedy to relieve emotional pain without resorting to pills, or abusing substances. Best of all, this remedy is available to everyone for free. It’s called compassion.

The word compassion comes from the Latin compati meaning “to suffer together”. Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines compassion as “the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” So, compassion shifts your focus from self to another. When we’re compassionate, we get involved in another’s pain and, in the process, our own sense of misery diminishes.

Thus, compassion works by making us forget our problems as we help others deal with theirs. If you’re in the middle of an emotional turmoil, turn on your compassionate side and notice the difference—it works wonders.

Compassion can be likened to a painkiller, except that physical painkillers offer temporary relief whereas compassion has long-term effects. Scientific research endorses the therapeutic power of compassion.

According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, those who demonstrated high levels of compassion for others were more receptive to social support, enabling them to better handle acute psychological stress and maintain overall wellbeing.

Although compassion is an inherent aspect of all human beings, in most people, it remains a dormant virtue. If you wish to activate or augment your compassionate side, try compassion meditation, which involves focusing on a loved one and wishing for that person to be relieved of pain and sorrow, and then extending this to strangers, adversaries, and even the entire sentient world.[1]

What makes compassion really worth the shot is that not only does it help alleviate our own pain but it also helps lessen another person’s agony. Two, for the price of one!

7 Types of Love You Might Experience in Your Life

Although many people associate love with a romantic feeling, there are a few types of love you might experience in your life. The classical vision of love includes the unity of two people who fall in love, create a family and have kids. You may have already experienced some feelings similar to love, but you cannot understand without realizing what type of love it was.

1. Unrequited love

Unrequited love is going to be the most challenging one that makes you suffer and feel terrific pain. Many people you love just don’t feel the same about you that is quite heartbreaking. This love makes you stronger and more reasonable. You should learn to control your obsessive and emotional desire to get pure love with the person who doesn’t love you. Try to handle this pain and avoid focusing on this problematic feeling. Just go forward and you will have more chances to find your destiny.

2. Platonic love

This type of love doesn’t require you to feel sexual or romantic attachment to the person you adore. Platonic love can occur between friends. It’s the most common type of love because you work and cooperate with a great number of people every day. You can fall in platonic love with some beautiful and lovely person that inspires your mind, soul, and directs your attention to spiritual things.

3. Self-love

Do you find yourself a wonderful person? If not, then you might have problems with self-esteem and it’s necessary to do something about that fact. First of all, fall in love with yourself and you will have an opportunity to love another person. If you still hesitate, then take a list of paper and write down all positive and negative qualities and traits of your character. You will admit how awesome you are. Don’t be afraid to become a smug egotist. You should realize that you love yourself and deserve to be loved by someone else.

4. Lustful love

You may fall in love with a handsome man you meet every day on the way to work. You feel nothing much but passion and desire to taste those plump lips. You have just created the image for him in your mind and you don’t know any information about him and that is good enough. Do you know at least his name? I think you don’t care.

5. Pure love

You might have seen this love in films. This powerful kind of love makes you adore the person’s heart, body and soul. It’s when two lovely people lose control and feel emotional burst. Those who have experienced true love are considered the happiest people in the world. There is a belief that true love is given only once.

6. Puppy love

Everyone has experienced this love, because it usually occurs when you are a kid. This love is full of innocence. If you treat the person like a little lovely doggie, your love can be called “Puppy Love.”

7. Unattainable love

Have you ever been in love with Johny Depp? I am sure that everyone faced the crisis of this fantastic love. No matter how old is your unattainable love, you continue daydreaming about him. You realize that it’s theoretically and practically impossible to live together with your beloved star, but your rich fantasy can do nothing about your obsessive thoughts. Many actors are so perfect that you really cannot help falling in love with them.

The older you become the more types of love you experience. What kind of love have you ever experienced? What type of love is the strongest?

Courtesy: Womanitely